Happy Friday!
I hope that this was a good week for you! In the U.S., we are preparing for Thanksgiving (next Thursday) in anticipation of spending time with friends and family, eating too much good food and watching football. Or perhaps helping people who are hungry or alone. We are not the only ones celebrating Thanksgiving. It is a recognized – albeit sometimes unofficial - holiday in 11 different countries. Brazil and the Philippines celebrate with us, Australia the day before (courtesy of American whaling ships who introduced it to them) and the Netherlands, Saint Lucia, Liberia, the U.K., Canada and Germany have their own versions of a harvest or Thanksgiving observance. Grenada and Japan have Thanksgiving holidays but with different themes.
Regardless of country or status, the heart of the holiday is gratitude. Gratitude gets a lot of play in various self-help endeavors, and for good reason: it is a major contributor to happiness and well-being. Psychologists Sarah Schnitker, PhD, and J-Ann Tsang, PhD specialize in gratitude at Baylor University and their interview about it was published on Wednesday. They identified three science-based mechanisms of gratitude: reflection, recognition and expression. They point out that gratitude does not always increase well-being, make one more generous, kinder, or more caring. However, it sends the message that we are valued in a relationship and part of something bigger.
Reflection is the first step. It encompasses taking a good look around and appreciating the good things, even the small ones. Reflection can also help people reframe difficulties, looking at the positives and cultivating resilience.
Recognition is relational, performed by identifying and acknowledging the contributions of others or a higher power. The acknowledgment makes one "move from feeling thankful for that person to feeling thankful to that person." Schnitker advises writing letters of gratitude (the old-fashioned paper ones are best but electronic notes also work) to those we feel grateful for. Personal delivery of the letter (perhaps reading it aloud) is a bonus.
Expression overlaps with recognition in some ways. It gives voice to gratitude through words, actions or prayer to uplift the giver and receiver. Receiving a genuine expression of thanks makes people want to pay it back and pay it forward.
In summary, gratitude is active, not passive.
PositivePsychology.com points out that gratitude is a character strength that can be enhanced with practice, and that being grateful enhances social, emotional and psychological well-being. They cite a study by Passore and Oades (2016) reporting that gratitude has decreased in western society. Possessions and health are often viewed as expectations rather than personal "blessings". Gratitude is then replaced by disappointment, anger or resentment when those "blessings" do not occur or when they disappear. Interesting theory. I think there is something to it – there is a fair amount of entitlement among us.
Their article includes a figure called the "Iceberg of Gratitude". Above the waterline are life circumstances, events and experiences such as employment, health, education and upbringing. Below the surface, and comprising a much larger chunk of the iceberg, are simple everyday pleasures that go unnoticed: sunshine, laughter with a friend, a great book, a stranger's kindness...and I'm sure that you can add many others.
Of course, gratitude is not limited to a national holiday. It's a daily thing. Besides the aforementioned gratitude letter, verbal expressions of appreciation, keeping a gratitude journal, a personal visit (probably the most powerful) and meditation are all ways to practice and express gratitude.
Even if you are not celebrating Thanksgiving next week, take a moment to think about what and who you are grateful for and express it. It might make your day...or someone else's! I am grateful for the opportunity to connect with you (almost) every Friday to try and brighten your day!
Have a wonderful weekend and Happy Thanksgiving,
Deb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjKFb-4t_vg